One Second Each Day

I came across this really interesting idea a few years ago–taking a short, one-second long video of each day for a year, and compiling them up and seeing how your year turned out. I tried doing this for 2018, but I unfortunately ran short of storage on my phone.

But this year, I gave into the society-consuming monopoly that is Apple, and bought more storage. I began filming everyday starting January first, and have been consistent everyday since.

And so far, I must say, 2019 has given me many bad days. Many things I don’t want to film. Many breakdowns, stressful nights, and issue upon issue. So, I found that the days I go out with my friends or party much easier to find the perfect second to film, but the days I feel empty are so much harder.

But, some good came out of these empty days. Because yes, things have been hard. Specific days have been huge struggles. But, this little video project essentially forces me to find one good thing about that day. So, I got a scholarship rejection letter. I cried, and then I found a really pretty sunset to look at. I stayed up for hours working on a midterm essay, and I filmed a really cute baby pitbull hanging out the window of someone’s car. Searching for the right ‘second a day’ has given me a reason to look for the good, the magic, the life in everyday.

I also had a tendency to search for ‘perfect’ things to film. My makeup had to be flawless, or it had to be a cool video of all of my friends, or a new, exciting thing that I’m doing everyday. But that’s not EVERYDAY. Everyday is normal things. Colorful pens I organized on my desk, coffee in my car cup holder that I made while I was running late for class, or just normal everyday things that don’t have to be perfect.

So, even if it’s hard to, take a second to find the good part of your day. I promise, it’s worth it.

March 21, 2019 6

5 Unparalleled Romance Movies Worth Watching

Although Valentine’s Day is far past us, good quality romance films will always be in season. Here’s a list of 5 romances that don’t belong in the cliche bin.

Amelie (2001)

Words and actions don’t always align. Amelie is painfully shy, yet continually sets up intricate mysteries for strangers passing through her life. This movie is a foreign film, but the subtitles don’t take away from its lighthearted, upbeat and romantic nature. Not to mention, the cinematography in this film is one of a kind.

2) The Big Sick (2017)

A narrative written so personally, The Big Sick is a love-story so close to reality. It doesn’t follow the same structure of every rom-com you’ve watched. It follows a journey that focuses on family, religious expectations, illness, and the lengths people will go for those that they love.

3) 500 Days of Summer (2009)

I love this movie because it looks like such a cliche, cheesy romance film, but it’s actually super duper not. It focuses on our projections of what we think love is, versus what reality turns out for us. Sometimes we see love through rose-tinted lenses, and our expectations aren’t always fair. 500 Days of Summer is endearing, heartbreaking, and worth a watch.

4) Juno (2007)

This movie isn’t simply boy meets girl, or girl meets boy, or the well-known stereotypical love scene in most romance films. It deals with teen pregnancy, boundaries, not fitting in, and all the complications that come with a new life. It’s also an exemplary artifact of the off-beat 90’s teen culture.

5) While You Were Sleeping (1995)

This is a classic film that twists through a series of lies, altercations with family, and finding unexpected love. Also– Sandra Bullock. Is she not the greatest?

March 5, 2019 2

German Expressionism Turns Film into Poetry

I’ll be honest. My knowledge of film isn’t broad. Sometimes I like movies solely because Chris Pratt is in them. I’m definitely not qualified to professionally review them, but I’m learning the ropes. So, with that in mind, I came across this film that I was not at all exciting to watch. It was called The Night of the Hunter (1955)

My film professor flicked off the lights and started the movie. I was already yawning. All I wanted was to go home and watch Parks and Rec and then fall asleep. Nonetheless, I stayed in my seat and braved through it.

AND DAMN. What a movie! German expressionism was the main topic for us this week. I understood the gist of it, but never saw it in execution. The Night of the Hunter was a flawless execution of this genre, and allowed me to see how impactful it was. German expressionism in film exaggerates, stretches, and bends all forms of reality to create a twisted, Kafkaesque world where the plot then takes off from there. Picture it like Tim Burton movies coming to life.

This genre not only exaggerates the effects, but it strengthens the emotions felt while watching. For instance, childhood wonder, nostalgia, chase, and family were all jacked up on steroids with the film techniques in this movie. The scenes with the children felt like a Disney sequence, the scenes with the murderer felt inescapable and something out of a nightmare, and the scenes with the whole family felt warm, safe and loving. Everything was accentuated due to this style. I highly recommend this movie. It didn’t feel like I was watching two children escaping a murder, it was more peaking into their brains for a night and watching their very bad dream of escaping a murderer. It was filmed like a dream, where things are just, for lack of a better word, off. And that’s what made it such an unsettling work of art.

February 18, 2019 4

Comedians that Dominated their Decade 1920’s-now

1920’s : Buster Keaton: Known for his physical, slapstick antics, Buster Keaton was the ‘stone-face’ of comedy in the new platform of film. He’s famous for seemingly impossible gags, establishing a new territory of comedy in his era. You can’t take a film class without hearing his name. He’s known for his feature films like The General and Steamboat Bill Jr.

1930’s: Charlie Chaplin: Relying heavily on pantomime and eccentric, quirky movements to convey humor, Chaplin paved the way for experimental techniques in comedy films. He’s known for his works like Modern Times, and The Great Dictator. (Side-note: he’s also infamous for his scandalous life outside of film.)

1940’s: Bing Crosby: Known for his life in comedy motion pictures, as well as music, Crosby took the entertainment industry by storm in his era. He’s known for many comedic films like Going My Way and Road to Bali, especially when he was starring on the silver screen with classic comedian, Bob Hope.

1950’s: Jerry Lewis: As the Paramount comedy star, and former duo member with Dean Martin, Lewis was a thriving entertainer of the 1950’s and beyond. Creating and starring in a plethora of comedy films, as well as being known for his quick improvisational humor on The Martin and Lewis Show on the radio, Lewis seemed unstoppable in his career endeavors. He went on to pursue a solo career, and later directed many films like The Bellboy and The Ladies Man.

1960’s Joan Rivers: One of, or if not the most famous female comedian of all time, Joan Rivers was outspoken, fearless, and hilarious in her glory days of comedy. She pioneered comedy for females, as she was the first female late night television host and paved the way for stand up, igniting laughter with shocking comedy, insults, and witty observation.

1970’s Rodney Dangerfield: Known as one of the greatest names in comedy, Dangerfield has mastered film, stand up, and simply being a hilarious person all around. If you’ve ever heard the phrase ‘I don’t get no respect!,’ you know who to thank. With stand up specials, No Respect and Back to School, and classic comedy films like Caddyshack and Easy Money, and hundreds of witty one-liners, it’s easy to see how Dangerfield rose to the top.

1980’s: Robin Williams: Ah, the man himself, whom we all miss dearly. Williams’ comedic talents of improvisation, mastering impressions and voices, televised comedy and classic comedy films, is famously loved by many. Appealing to practically any audience, his legacy of comedy wins him a place as one of the greatest. Need there be a further explanation?

1990’s: Jerry Seinfeld: What is the deal with him? Inventing the best of sitcom comedy, Jerry Seinfeld is quite literally known as the ‘king of comedy’ by many. Exuding confidence, wit, and an expertise knowledge of humor, he’s the creator of one of the most famous, long-running comedy series. His stand-up specials and screenwriting skills have made him one of the biggest names in comedy.

2000’s: Dave Chappelle: Relaxed, philosophical, clever and brilliantly hilarious–Chappelle takes on broad topics in stand up from politics to sex and drugs, and many more. Creating the Chappelle Show, Half-Baked, and The Dave Chappelle Project as well as hilarious stand-up specials like For What It’s Worth, and Killin’ Them Softly. He’s known by many as one of the greatest names in the history of comedy.

2010’s: John Mulaney: Taking the comedy scene by storm, Mulaney has created three successful stand-up specials (New in Town, The Comeback Kid, and Kid Gorgeous) undertook years writing for SNL, and co-created a new type of cartoon comedy on TV animation, Big Mouth. His aura of gentle, story-telling politeness is part of what ropes each audience in to roaring laughter. His talent in sketch comedy, self-deprecating nature, and surreal humor, are all what make him one of the current top names in comedy today.

February 13, 2019 0

An Angry Letter: Baby Boomer Edition

Dear Costco Customer Services and Management,

I’m writing today because I am extremely upset by the terrible service I received by one of your staff members earlier this afternoon.

The young, barely 17 year old cashier will rot in eternal hell for not providing me every damn thing I need. I was SIMPLY trying to make a purchase of 43 items, and return 56 items. When I tried to return the Aveeno lotion that I had used to its full proximity, the cashier, and I still cannot believe this, said ‘no.’ What, like a seventeen year old snowflake is going to tell me no? I don’t think so. So what’s mama’s next move? Calling the manager.

The manager came over, looked at the lotion and said that it “could not be returned whatsoever.” So, after screaming at the top of my lungs and waving my jiggly arms in their faces for a good ten minutes, I calmly settled and had the rest of my items sold.

As I tapped my poorly molded french manicured acrylics on the counter, I watched as coupon upon coupon scanned through the register. Then suddenly one coupon wouldn’t go through, as it was “not a Costco coupon, this is for TJ Maxx, ma’am.” Mmm, trying to play me as a fool? Not today, you’re not. I demanded for it to be put through at top volume, as the tiny, fragile cashier tried to search for a similar coupon online. Forget it.

Then came along my final attempt at bargaining. There was only one of my size of the fringed navy cardigan left and it had a small piece of fuzz on it. That’s right, you guessed it, say it with me ladies, “damage discount!” So as I pleaded my case, that it was clearly obscene for a microscopic sized fuzzball to be stuck onto the sweater I wanted so dearly, they said that there was “nothing they could do.” Truly sickening.

So, I ended off my purchase by telling the cashier that she has no future, no skills, and can’t do the easiest job on the planet. She started crying, which I did feel a little bad for, but that will just toughen her up. Teenagers these days, huh? Such pansies. Anyways. I’m writing to ask for a free lifetime membership to Costco after this incident, as I very much deserve one. If I don’t get one, this is not the last letter you will be receiving from me.

Warm Regards,

Your Least Favorite Baby Boomer

February 9, 2019 0

An Honest High School Playbill

Counterfeit West High School Presents:

GREASE

This production was made possible by Director, Sherry Johnson, who definitely needs a drink when this shit show is over, so buckle in. A big thanks to the CW theatre moms who totally didn’t volunteer for the sole purpose that their child gets a lead in next year’s musical. Stop by the bake sale during intermission!

___________________________________________________________________________________________

CHARACTER BIOGRAPHIES

Sarah Beaver: Sandy

As a senior at CWHS, Sarah is thrilled to be the lead, Sandy, in her final stage production. She’s friends with the director on facebook and is also a distant relative. Sarah cannot hit any high notes, yet she will still try, so we advise you to take a bathroom break during Hopelessly Devoted. Sarah will probably get married within the next three years, and doesn’t want to face the fact that it’s all downhill from here. She hopes you enjoy the show!

Chad Michaels: Danny Zuko

Chad is a sophomore at CWHS, and auditioned for extra credit. He’s upset for two reasons: 1) His girlfriend is pissed that he has to stage kiss Sarah. 2) His boys on the baseball team will roast him for eternity after this. He’s nervous and really really hopes he doesn’t accidentally get a boner onstage. His dad is not in the audience, but his mother is definitely recording this. Here’s a quote from Chad to leave the audience with before the show: “Kelly, I’m really sorry.”

Kelly Dicksmasher: the character with pigtails

Kelly is a sophomore. Whatever, you get it, anyways, she wants to say: WHAT THE FCK CHAD? YOU COULD’VE JUST ASKED MRS. JOHNSON NOT TO STAGE KISS SARAH BEAVER. THIS IS TOTAL BULLSHT. YOU DON’T EVEN LOVE ME, DO YOU? FIRST XANDER NITZELPICE HELD HANDS WITH ANOTHER GIRL BEHIND MY BACK, NOW THIS? GOOD LUCK FINDING A DATE TO HOMECOMING, BACKSTABBER.

Todd Hirschorn: Kenickie

Todd is. (Deep Breath in) Getting through this. He’s still trying to cope with the fact that random whitey lacrosse boy with ZERO theatre experience walks in and snatches the lead? No, no sister. Todd holds his breath and pictures Shawn Mendes every time he has to stage kiss Cheyenne. He will be the star theatre boy of the local community college for the next three years, and then switch his major to communications.

Chad Michaels

A quick message from Chad: he wants Todd to know that it’s actually Baseball, not Lacrosse.

UPCOMING CWHS DRAMA & ARTS EVENTS

Spring Choir Concert: Don’t go. Sarah has a solo

Student-written Play Night: They’re all half plagiarized and poorly directed

Band Camp Registration Night: Someone WILL get pregnant

Senior Song Night: There’s a 100% chance of two girls singing a duet cover of “For Good” from Wicked.

WE HOPE YOU ENJOY THE SHOW

February 3, 2019 0

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